Rhubarb Posted April 8, 2020 Author Share Posted April 8, 2020 If you get a email from the government saying that you can't eat tinned spiced pork and ham because it contains covid 19 ignore it. It's just spam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 Wooden you know it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted August 11, 2020 Author Share Posted August 11, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Rhubarb Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 Tools: PILLAR DRILL : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL : Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t' DROP SAW : A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS : Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. BELT SANDER : An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW : One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. MOLE-GRIPS : Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. TABLE SAW : A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK : Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW : A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. STANLEY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. SHIFTING SPANNER: aka "Another hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts, resulting in busted buckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassie Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 🤣🤣🤣 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassie Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Hahahahaaa!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted December 14, 2020 Author Share Posted December 14, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted August 5, 2021 Author Share Posted August 5, 2021 Read the bottom part of the sign 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassie Posted August 18, 2021 Share Posted August 18, 2021 Brilliant!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhubarb Posted May 3, 2022 Author Share Posted May 3, 2022 May the Fourth be with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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